Bruce Jenner

Hey All!  It's about that time again.

Chances are, this weekend you heard about Bruce Jenner's interview in which he explained that he is undergoing the transformation of becoming a woman.  He explained how it was something he had always felt, and how it was one of several reasons why he ended all of his multiple marriages.  Since I'm writing this blog for all youth that feels bullied, I think I need to weigh in on this issue as well.

If you're reading this blog, chances are more than likely that you're different from others.  And I don't mean the condescending, arrogant, and insulting "different" that the doctor used to describe Forrest Gump to his mother.  I mean the positive different that means you don't conform to what the "cool kids" say you should.  Well, Bruce clearly felt different for a long time, even though he did a good job of pretending he wasn't.  But is this really the best thing to do?

When you get bullied, if you're not careful, you lose faith in your identity.  You start believing that you're not acceptable just the way you are.  With all due respect to Bruce Jenner, he accepted this lie a long time ago, except in his case, it was a lie he told himself.

None of us can imagine what baggage he was carrying, even through his glory days as an Olympic champion.  But it was baggage that he loaded himself with.  He came to the conclusion that no matter he good he was, he would never be good enough as himself, and he sought to become someone else.  No matter what gender you are, this is not the road to take.

The best way to defeat bullying is to accept yourself, know yourself, and love yourself.  You adopt the Four Pillars as absolute truth:  I Exist, I Matter, I Belong, I Deserve.  To change your gender is to reject all that in favor of becoming someone you're not.

When you get down the heart of the matter, this is no different than wearing the clothes that the cool kids wear, talking the way the cool kids talk, and doing things that "all" the cool kids do just to be accepted by them.  Pretending to be someone else, or taking a radical, life-altering step to actually become someone else, is not a workable solution for anything.  All it does is change one set of expected norms, which you didn't want to follow, for another set of expected norms that you will be expected to follow.  It's just not possible to find yourself in all of that.

So those of you out there who are truly struggling with any type of idenity confusion, please seek counseling.  There may or may not be an adult authority figure who thinks Bruce Jenner's approach is right for you, but I certainly don't.  I think the better way is to be exactly who you are and to love yourself for it.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

DISCLAIMER:  The above post is not meant to insult, smear, disparage, or besmirch or reject those in the trans-gender community.  It is merely intended to explain why this practice is not answer to bullying.